The NFL still has never seen a one-point safety.

The one-point safety is the unicorn of American football’s scoring system. It’s the only way to score a single point at a time, it’s only happened a few times in college football but never in the NFL, and it’s worth thinking about ad nauseam because it’s just so god damn weird.

One could argue that due to just how weird it is, the NFL took the most extreme option for avoiding it: they used their rulebook to make it nearly impossible to play out. However, seeing how riled up everybody got once it played out a few times in college football, the NFL wised up and adjusted its rules. Does that mean we’ll see it finally sometime soon? God no. Do you think they want us to see cool things? I don’t know if I can say this here, but “lol.”

Join us in this episode of Weird Rules to explore how this play happens, the lucky referee who got to most recently call it, and why it’ll continue to be so hard to pull off in the NFL.

These are so good.

My favorite yearly tradition is back: Madden glitches. Players unlocked the game at midnight (or earlier if they bought the expensive edition) and we’re already seeing some simply incredible goofs.

Clyde Edwards-Hilaire’s footwork is next level!

Taking a leisurely stroll around the field for a touchdown

Inside all of us is a person constantly on their cell phone

PLAY UNTIL THE WHISTLE!

Indianapolis: The city in the sky

It’s not a glitch … but it’s still HILARIOUS

Play from the nosebleeds

Practice? We talkin’ ‘bout practice?

I know everyone is all angsty about glitches. I totally understand. You wait all year for a game, put down good money — then find out it’s still a bug-filled mess. There’s a couple of things to consider here: Firstly, EVERY game these days is buggy a hell. It’s a product of quick development cycles paired with easy patching. The result is almost every game ends up shipping with something broken, and then it’s fixed later. Secondly, at least EA seems like they’re trying to fight the bugs quickly this year. The poor folks at the EA Help Twitter account are chasing down every bug posted and trying to get them fixed — which has to be the worst job in the world today.

Until then, we’ll laugh at moments like these … because they’re hilarious.

Looking for a breakout star? These players are ready.

Everyone loves a good sleeper. Whether you’re a fantasy player seeking the late round hidden gem that defines your season, or just a fan looking for the next guy ready to make a name for himself — sleepers really define the NFL.

Think about it: We knew Matthew Stafford and Aaron Donald were going to be good for the Rams, but it’s the breakout of Cooper Kupp that really told the story of Los Angeles’ Super Bowl success last season. So who is the next Cooper Kupp, or Joe Burrow ready to bust out and make everyone wonder how they went under the radar?

Travis Etienne, RB — Jacksonville Jaguars

You’re damn right I’m kicking this off with a Jaguars player, and I won’t apologize for it. First off, no, the Jaguars aren’t winning the Super Bowl. Hell, I’m hard pressed to even see Jacksonville as a playoff contender yet — but I’m confident Etienne will do big things.

After missing his entire rookie season due to a lisfranc injury, Etienne is back and will start for the Jaguars in 2022. We will finally get to see the Clemson handcuff the team banked on when they took Trevor Lawrence and Etienne in the first round of the NFL Draft in 2021, and now they’re both in a much better position to succeed.

A revamped offensive line will lead to more confidence under center for Lawrence, and better blockers for the team’s running backs. Also don’t underestimate the Doug Pederson effect. During Pederson’s time in Philadelphia he relied more and more on receiving out of the backfield, typified by Miles Sanders in 2019 when he finished with over 1,300 all-purpose yards, including 50 receptions. A dual-threat back, Etienne is in a position to flourish in his second season and I think he’ll turn heads.

Rashod Bateman, WR — Baltimore Ravens

Bateman showed huge flashes in 2021 when he returned from injury in Week 6, but this is really a case of production by omission. When the Ravens elected to trade Marquise “Hollywood” Brown during the NFL Draft it cemented Bateman as the team’s primary wide receiver.

Now the only significant player he’ll have to fight for targets with is tight end Mark Andrews. While that’s not exactly a good thing for Baltimore, it is a very good thing for Bateman’s production.

It puts the second year receiver in a bit of a sink or swim situation, and I think he’ll really thrive. He’s got a prototypical frame for the modern NFL, he’s a brilliant deep threat to offset Lamar Jackson’s running ability, and I think in 2022 he ascends to become the team’s most dangerous offensive weapon behind their star quarterback.

JuJu Smith-Schuster, WR — Kansas City Chiefs

It feels like a million years ago that Smith-Schuster broke out with a 1,426 yard season that led to unwavering expectations that he would follow in the mold of Antonio Brown, Hines Ward and Mike Wallace to become the Steelers next great wide receiver. That was only in 2018.

What followed was a precipitous fall from grace that saw his production vanish as Ben Roethlisberger aged, and finally fizzled out with a shoulder injury in 2021.

Now he’s back, and after signing a one year deal with the Chiefs, and in the age of giant receiver contracts I believe Smith-Schuster is going to be one of the best steals in the NFL with his $10.75M deal.

The door is wide open for JuJu to assert himself as a No. 1 receiver, and his skillset meshes perfectly with Patrick Mahomes. With Travis Kelce taking the pressure off over the middle and helping freeze safeties, I think we’ll see Smith-Schuster EAT on the outside and I have every faith he’ll return to being a 1,00 yard receiver immediately.

Cole Kmet, TE — Chicago Bears

Similar to the situation with the Ravens, I think Kmet is going to put up big numbers this year — and that’s not exactly a great thing.

If you’ve watched the Bears this preseason you’ll notice three things happening:

1. Justin Fields is getting a lot better
2. Justin Fields is running for his life every down between a Swiss cheese o-line
3. Justin Fields has ZERO help at wide receiver

This is a formula for a huge tight end year, and Kmet is poised to benefit. Last year he caught 60 passes for 612 yards, and it wouldn’t surprise me to see him catch over 80 passes this year and eclipse 1,000 yards.

It’s not dissimilar to what we saw with Cam Newton and the Carolina Panthers when Greg Olsen went off for 1,000 yards on the regular. Olsen was the only safety net for Newton when he had no other pass catchers, or an offensive line that could keep him safe. The Bears are going to gain a lot of their yards on Fields rollouts, whether by design or running for his life — and it’s here I think Kmet can flourish.

Breece Hall, RB — New York Jets

Hall was one of my favorite players in the 2022 draft, and I think he’s poised to have a mammoth year — even as a rookie. The season ending injury to Zach Wilson, and the offense turned over to Joe Flacco really sets up a scenario where New York will run a more even-keeled, conservative offense than what Wilson brought to the table.

Hall is a big, fast, old-school running back akin to the players we saw dominate the league in the past. While the RB position in general has fallen out of favor, I think we’re destined to see a big comeback as teams look to balance out their passing attacks more and target opponents who have overloaded on defensive backs.

I’m going to stop way short of saying Hall is the next Derrick Henry, but he has that kind of potential.

Trey Lance, QB — San Francisco 49ers

It’s now the Trey Lance show in San Fran, and I think it’s going to be a damn good one. We’re already seeing promising returns from the second year quarterback as he becomes more comfortable in Kyle Shanahan’s system, and he has all the pieces to succeed.

If you look at the other second year passers they really all lack receivers. Jacksonville is still a work in progress, the Patriots are building their pass catchers, we’ve established that Justin Fields really has nobody — then you’ve got Lance who is walking right in to playing with Deebo Samuel, Brandon Aiyuk and George Kittle. Pair all this with a solid offensive line and it’s an embarrassment of riches for a young quarterback that will lead to immediate returns.

I understand there being some skepticism, but I think Lance will silence the critics quickly and have a much better season than most expected.

At least he’s having fun with it.

The slide at the top of American Family Field, home to the Milwaukee Brewers, is one of the most unique features of any ballpark in baseball. Whenever the Brewers hit a home run or win a game, their mascot Bernie Brewer slides down to celebrate. With the Los Angeles Dodgers in town for a four-game series, reporter David Vassegh thought it would be a good idea to test out the slide himself.

Vassegh went down the slide twice. The first time, cameras recorded him going down, and everything went fine. He went down again so the cameras could record his landing, and that’s where everything went wrong.

Vassegh has reportedly suffered broken bones in his hand and wrist, as well as six broken ribs, after slamming into the wall at the end of the slide. Despite the injuries, Vassegh has been in good spirits, and everyone around the Dodgers and Brewers has been having fun with the incident. Here’s the original video:

And here’s an alternate angle:

There’s nothing funny about broken bones in your hand and wrist. Six broken ribs seriously does not sound like a good time. Yet as the series between the Dodgers and Brewers continued, Vassegh is being a good sport about it and turning into the punchline of every joke.

After the Dodgers’ win on Thursday night, catcher Austin Barnes said the Dodgers rallied for Vassegh after his accident on the slide.

Bernie Brewer of course had to chime in, as well.

The body outline is cracking me up:

Too bad Vassegh didn’t read the comically oversized slide instruction manual before going down:

Vassegh has been joking around with Dodgers players about the incident since it happened.

Vassegh got his 15 minutes of fame, but paid a heavy price for it. At least he’s kept a good attitude about his injuries. If you are going to crack six ribs and suffer multiple fractures on your right hand going down a slide, the least you can do it have fun with it.

Deshaun Watson has been suspended for the first 11 games of the 2022 NFL season after the league finally reached a settlement for discipline with the quarterback following long-running sexual assault and sexual misconduct allegations. Watson has also been fined $5 million and must attend a treatment program in addition to the suspension. The settlement puts an end to the lingering question of how Watson would be punished, but the increased suspension hasn’t made the star QB any more remorseful to the women he abused.

Watson met the media on Thursday as the ruling was coming down, and continued to deny wrongdoing. He apologized to the people he “triggered” without showing any accountability for the actions that led to him settling 24 civil lawsuits with women who accused the star QB of sexual assault and misconduct. Here is Watson’s latest non-apology in his own words.

Watson refusing to accept accountability or show remorse is nothing new: NFL arbiter Judge Sue Robinson made note of Watson’s lack of remorse to the women he abused. While Watson issued a half-hearted apology on Friday that the league reportedly viewed as an important step, his comments following the final ruling show how obtuse he has been to the whole situation.

“I want to say that I’m truly sorry to all of the women that I have impacted in this situation,” Watson said during an interview with the Browns’ pregame show on Friday.

It sure doesn’t seem like he really means it. Watson said he’s “always been able to stand on my innocence” as the ruling came down. ESPN’s Diana Russini reported that Watson was still upset about his original six-game suspension, and has only dug his heels in even more as the settlement was determined.

The timing of the NFL’s suspension is curious. Watson will now make his debut in Week 12 against the Houston Texans, his former team. That probably isn’t by accident. Watson taking the field against Houston will likely drive discussion all week, along with massive ratings on Sunday.

Both Watson and the NFL deserve to be viewed with cynicism for how this situation played out. The league pushed for an indefinite suspension publicly, but immediately started working on a settlement once Robinson’s ruling of a six-game suspension came through. Watson was never put on the commissioner’s exempt list going back to last season, when the Texans sat him the entire season. As the league investigated his behavior, Robinson only spoke to five of his accusers, and the league reportedly interviewed only half of them. Now the league is maintaining that Watson’s forced and halfhearted apology on Friday was an important step, only to see him dig his heels in on his innocence as soon as the suspension was announced.

Reaction around the league centered on how deeply messed up Watson’s entire discipline case proved to be.

Watson won’t play any further preseason games, but can practice with the Browns until Aug. 30. After that, he can’t practice until Nov. and will return against the Texans in Week 13.

Everyone except Deshaun Watson says Deshaun Watson is remorseful of his actions. The NFL can talk tough about discipline, but their actions paint a different story. They still made sure to get Watson back on the field just in time to face Houston as the TV ratings likely soar.

The discipline here is not insignificant, but it still feels empty given Watson’s lack of remorse. The Browns never cared about the allegations Watson was facing. Watson truly believes he didn’t do anything wrong despite facing multiple forms of discipline. The league just wanted to get him back on the field to face his former team. The NFL might want this story to be over, but anyone following it knows how gross it all feels.